The day i got mobile broadband...

the trickle turned into a torrent!

even if i do live in a (some would say) backward peasant society where the plebs are bamboozled through trickery (and shiny things), into thinking that this shit should rightfully cost a fortune...

ohh well...

Oh and I got my very own lap top like a week ago aswell, so have gone and cobbled together all me years worth of data, including songs (maybe 30G) pics and old odd-and-ends from my digital childhood (10G or so)... so I am thoroughly chuffed and all that palava, which is probably why you get the following rant:

HIGHLY UNUSUAL BUT: a wee story for ya....

the cam belt in my old Mitsubishi pretty much shat itself tonight, just (possible italics necessary) as I was leaving my parents (I had gone like less than half a k), after the Monday night ritual feed* the aforementioned vehicle slowly and quietly died, all motor functions lost forever. Stopped running and never started again and will probably never ever run again, after I slowly ran it into the ground over a period of 10 or so years. Funny thing is (possibly ironic as well) it was about to be traded tomorrow for a newer more European 4 wheeled pimping device. That should still go through sweet, as they won't want to jeopardise lots of money for a little money. or so we shall see...

I haven't won lotto I just decided to spend my way out of the recession, my savings were attracting naff interest, and my portfolio of awesome cars has just expanded!

Invest in --> Gee Rad Hedonistic Adventures Holdings Co. Ltd Pty and son corp..

I'll try and keep the spelling nice, but other over-editing techniques of the past my expire (e.g correct grammar and punctuation)

(*see: earlier post dates from certain time periods always being on Mondays)

The Human Condition of Ultimate Controversy

According to signs on buses:
(and I quote)

THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD.

Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.

Ohhh thems fighin' words!
You can imply that the superstitions of others may not be valid.
That's just too thought-provoking, or to some just too rational!

Ownership Awareness Responsibility

Fake List #25:

• start list
  
• move car
• eat yogurt
• get haircut
• pay powerbill
• sort parking fines
• meeting at 3pm
• make shopping list
• solve world hunger
• complete booty rap
• invent new RC toy
• live a healthy life
  
• donate to wikipedia
• go shopping
• find spirituality
  
• create freewill
• promote choice
• be realistic
• give up
• find secret shows
• reorder DVDs
• transcribe dreams
• file everything
• meet the press
• pimp those hoes
• reinstall reality
• end list
  

Cliche Soup (to amuse/confuse)

Headlines that never quite made it to print:

('cos they are nonsensical rubbish)

• Frozen pilot-scheme sundae school rhetorical questionnaire subsidiary holdings baffle.
• Politicians picked last by Captain's of Industry in Gym-class brawl for hearts and minds.
• Nun caught trafficking mystery variables through undefinable love-making alternatives.
• Critics claim anally-retentive plot-twists murder lost serial number subversion.
• Guerrillas missed chance in boss attack level of ultimate game console play-off.
• Attack of the intangible jungle boogie monster truck madness of past monarchs.
• Oscar-winning treachery leaves consciousness underneath unsafe proportional performance when represented with colourful graphics index finger discount.
• Unethical experimental customer service contemplation configuration consternation.
• Logic mushrooms deny justifiable homicide committee's rest-week function growth.
• Digital sandwiches of defiance edict cultural cringe-worthy opposable thumb wrestlers.
• Conclusion jump-start cuts test-run motorcade lift-off panorama convertible.
• Impossible illusions taint mission of unrequited attempts to stop this sentence.
• Aimless alliterations annoy alternative anarchists allied amusingly.

Aren't. Can't. Won't. Don't.

get your groove off.

you can't keep everything...

or destroy everything.

you can't stop, but I won't start.

This internet attraction.

(dot com)

Blame Excuse Denial

As you may have noticed this blog was on an unscheduled hiatus from May to November of this year. This is due to several factors, the major one being we don't even have a phone at my flat, let alone broadband or even (*shudder*) dial-up. I have also been a bit busy living the life of a undiscovered non-hedonistic rock-star/comic book creator, who abandons the outside world after many disillusionments and being rejected for his vast talents. But now I return, modest as ever, to try and continue to carve out my niche. By highlighting things that I want to be remembered, long after we are gone, like those people from the past that left us funny stuff to ponder. While also drawing attention to other ideas/achievements that have been forgotten, far too prematurely.


So here are some crazes/phases I have been involved with while I've been absent:

• Dexter (series 3)
• Arrested Development (All episodes of all 3 series)
• Mr. Show (See: Youtube)
• Wonder Showzen (also See: Youtube)
• The Genographic Project
• Flight of The Conchords (series 2)
• Summer Heights High
• Other Stuff
  

NB:Now these are only reasons, not excuses. I will have my own judgement, yours can wait til after!

Word Collections

Noun or Never:

Introduction, arrival, rebirth, sacrifice.
Hope, vision, ignorance, bliss.
Desolation, neglect, abandonment, decay.
Dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, mood.
Colonisation, delegation, supremacy, theft.
Sex, exercise, fun, love.
Loss, sadness, grief, self-pity.
Scheme, manipulation, plot, grave.
Wonder, magic, mystery, surprise.
Pride, respect, honour, discipline.
Freedom, liberty, excuse, abuse.
Home, familiar, natural comfortable.
Encourage, develop, foster, protect.
Conflict, aggression, competition, victory.
Leave, flee, escape, depart.

Legends of 8-bit

Who needs friends when you have fan art?

Politicians Can't Save Us

In the days before mankind organised itself into remunerated hierarchies of governance, events like plagues, famine, climate-wrought disasters and general suffering were endured (or not) as part of the cost of being alive.

Smash and Grab

Just to keep things ticking over...

So what are all the answers?
Because all I hear are questions!

Please Be Nice!

Tactical Persuasion

deep thought
space invasion
malevolent structure
invalid function
ongoing investigation
implied consent
internal audit
wanton destruction
intended criticism
jealous motives
duel intentions
grand delusions
old conclusions
risk management
review process
token criticism
induced independence
elegant decadence
righteous prank
humorous crusade

Shut up and Dance

clouds of smoke
bring your own bomb
satan's triangle
process orientated
thinking sucks, let's party
manifest destiny
outcome-focused
ingrained character
Some disassembly required

Mirrors for Eyes

We want significance!


Go ahead crack a joke all you'll get is laughs!

Sketches of the Sun

I long to feel some beauty in my heart
As I go searching, right to the start...

doves - kingdom of Rust -2009

Control! Control! Control!

I used to have a grip on everything, now I find it's better to let go...

Save Thyself

Vast amounts of time wasted
vicious rumours, etcetera
not all of them true

it's much better now
we're all grown up
no more fear
all smiles
not

Wild Accusation of the Month Club

Micro-blogging is for Nazis!

Glass Ceiling

weather is an abstract concept...

when you're in a transparent building

The Sexy Terrorist

the longer your with me
the less normal you will be

Society Is Brainwashed

"Every society honours it's live conformists and dead trouble-makers."

"Old men start wars for young dudes to die in
Madison Avenue tellin' what you should be buyin'
religion and science always profess peace but in the end
who created the deadly war machine society is?"

When I'm in the streets I always remain cautious.

-Ill Bill

Anti-Socialite

Naturally secretive
instinctively private
temporarily focused
unwilling participant
devote revolutionary
ubiquitous underdog
unsuccessful alpha

Disproportionate Response

There are two types of people in this world:

• those that categorise others
• those that are categorised
  

No Free Rides

If you want redemption, then you better redeem yourself.
or go to hell like the rest of us...

Multi-Media Vandalism

Just when you thought I'd gone away for good...
I'm back all up in your face!

Unimaginable Conspiracy

DISPOSABLE CULTURE
THROW-AWAY SOCIETY
EXPENDABLE MORALS
MONUMENTAL FORECLOSURES
FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS
PREDICTABLE FORECASTS
INGRAINED STUPIDITY
INSTANT CREDIT-APPROVALS
MOUNTAINOUS INTEREST
UNCOMMON DECENCY
DENIABLE CATASTROPHE
INHERITED DILEMMAS
UNBORN HORRORS
MANUFACTURED FEAR
PROPAGATED FURY
CONCEALED DOUBTS
MASS CONFUSION
UNTESTED EXPERIMENTS
SINGLE-MINDED GREED
INSTITUTIONALISED NEGLECT
MONOLITHIC APATHY
ACCIDENTAL GENOCIDE
SHATTERED ECOSYSTEMS
CONTAMINATED MICRO-CLIMATES
LIMITED CONTROL
SHARED BLAME
AVOIDED RESPONSIBILITY
CORPORATE OPPORTUNISM
WIDESPREAD NIHILISM
INCONSISTENT MORALITY
HYPOCRITICAL HUMANITY
LEGAL LOOPHOLES
LEGISLATIVE MINEFIELDS
BEGGARS BANQUET
CRITICAL MISS
POPULAR STARVATION
EXCLUSIVE FEAST
UNSTOPPABLE COLLISION
AVOIDABLE INDECISION
UNIVERSAL ANEURYSM
MULTI-NATIONAL CATACLYSM

Unintentional Lies

Trust No One

Big Apologies!

...for going a way for so long...

Shouldn't have let that happen,
so will be back to make up for it!

if it's any excuse I had a great time
and should have a few more pics
all to come...

happy 2009 and all that palava!

I wasn't dead, I was just sleeping

If Only I Could Think Of Better Titles

none shall pass

why keep it real
if reality sucks?

Leave/learn while you still can't!

We all know:
that nobody knows
the way it all goes
or why the winds blow
from violet and rose
to the tip of your toe

More is Less

"this
is
not

the
end

of
the
world


this
is

the
end

of
an

economic

cycle"

When is a recession a depression?

Symetrics New Glove Child

Fads and obsessions go on without me
but I will try to recall some with pride

This years champion dwarf marigold

Generic Empty Promises Made Assertively

Has
anyone
ever
thought of
addressing
the realm
of
complementary
heated
beverages
and the
issues
surrounding
major
disadvantages
suffered by
those
who
do not
drink
tea
and/or
coffee
when
offered
daily by
travel service
providers
??

?

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

The time has come the tide has turned
so put down the flag or get burned
it's all over now yet barely begun
conquest is futile the battle is won
politics is fashion stale and brittle
we've come so far and learnt so little
hope for a change or change for a hope
get off the platform and give me the rope
your face won't mind if you smile or pout
options are endless: man up or get out

Spiral Of Silence

"We started our discussions by accepting the government's commitment to it's economic policy, but the question we increasingly asked ourselves was how we could make the economy fit for people to live in...

I was certainly not alone in this preoccupation"

David Lange -my life- p.228

Another Annoyingly Asinine Alliteration Article

Read for yourself:

• Gross gossip guarantees guerrilla guesswork, geographical generalities, grandstanding and golden garnishes of gentle garrotting.
  
• Fiscal folly frustrates famed firms finally flagged from fleecing flocks of families, forcing financial funerals.
• Independent interviews influence international interest, igniting informed inquiries into imaginative isolationists intently imbibing intoxicants.
  
• Current circumstances: Crazy crackpots cranking circular collider can cause calamitous catastrophes. Could cosmic chaos crush civilisation? Cowering civilians cry "cripes!"
• Long luscious looks leave lingerie lost. Leading to: liquor, ligaments loosened, and light lubrication. Last liquid linkages left luminous long-time.
  
• Failed fruitpickers fix functional faults for frugal farmers finding Fijians funny fingersizes forever flawed.
  
• Palin's policies peddling Pentecostal patronage of premarital purgatory. Provoke painful penny-pinching pressures prior to probable poor polling.
• Tough times turn tax testimonies to testing targets, turning tame traditionalists into tragic turncoats too tired to try.
• Minor minimalists make messy montages, maximising many makes of motorcar. Mainly masking most Marxist manipulations majestically.
• Overachieving Obama outspends overly optimistic octogenarian omnipotently opposed onward to oligarchy.
• Placid Palmy paints painted pastoral picturesqueness pleasantly passing processing platitudes professionally.
• Election edicts endorses early enrolment evocation, especially eternal emos, elderly entities and even enthusiastic evangelists earning Euros elegantly.
  
• Racist Republicans rally round right-wing rectum rangers, reciting regal rodgerings reeking of relatively raw rage.
• Merciless marketeering milk manufacturers, make micro-managing mangled miniature multivitamins mistakenly made in Mandarin milieu mishap moment.
• As assorted arsenals of aimlessly armed airguns across Auckland's assault areas are accused, assailants acrimonious and awful atrocity alarms all.
• Polished porcelain partitions paint perky portions pathetically past porky pastry pies piled partially prematurely post pious precautions.
• Monday's melee makes me mostly miss MacIntyre's melodious mini-me. Mighty male master's momentum moved militarily map-wise to main mustering meetings.
  
• Toilet time tales takes tearful tension toward today's tedious tormented telling of totally toasted Tuesday togetherness.
• Overexposed Obama's ominous occurrence outflow, only oversees occasional outlets of omissions operating ostensibly outlandish ostrich-like older optimists.
• Faltering financial failure floats frozen funds forbidden to fix foreclosures, fool farmers and find fees. F*ck free-market fixtures found fundamentally flawed.
• Secret Satan shoots scholarly school students sincerely studying Santa's sins.
  

Once again this post is for: J. Ho, deej & son...

Clutter begets Clutter

Now that everybody's here...

may I please have your attention:

• There is nothing left to fear, as long as you trust no one.
  
• As it was in the beginning so shall it be in the end.
  
• I used to be deep, but then I caved in to the market.
  
• We all like fighting, but there has to be a better way.
• The world used to be alright, what happened?
• I could tell you everything, but you wouldn't like it.
• Superficial is now just not shallow enough.
• Our eyes tell us: appearance trumps experience.
• Long haired freaky people need not apply.
• Profit soar like eagles, as wages plunge like rocks.
  
• Get your coats we're leaving.
• Exit music
• Fin

please vote anyway, it won't hurt you

Tigerbomb Breakfast Trendspotter Acrobat Static

"Don't strip off my bark - I have been stripped of it before
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow has so much more in store

You are a bird - you're taking off in every way
Say the last word until there is nothing more to say

Don't interrupt - you know the squirrels are my friends
Get off my limb - for I will break before I bend

I am a tree - counting my rings will do no good
I won't live long but I would be with you if I could

When you take flight, remember me to one who lives there
Since you have flown, there's something special in the air"

(GUIDED BY VOICES - I am A Tree
Mag Earwig!)

"Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.

Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded on itself.
And said 'Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath.'
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?"

(MODEST MOUSE - Ocean Breathes Salty
Good News For People Who Love Bad News)

I'm A Believer

"Everybody is looking for someone who can stand up in the wind. It is lonely standing up and crowded lying down. I refuse to be an anchor for other people's dreams - but then I refuse to anchor mine to anyone else. So I have no choice but to stand up and piss into the wind."

Hunter S. Thompson - The Proud Highway

Raoul Duke: "There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak, in the freak kingdom.

We'd gone in search of the 'American dream'. It had been a lame fuck around. A waste of Time. But there was no point in looking back, fuck no! Not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger, a man on the move and just sick enough to be totally confident..."

Loner on the Highway to Happiness

Imploding Social Scenes
Broken Financial Markets
Have nothing to do with this post!

Originality is Dead; Long Live Aimless Repetition!

organised chaos
unconnected randomness

free market stagnation
mutual strangulation

climate of panic
business as usual

mutating like a virus
spreading like wildfire

fraudulent construct
Noble lies

inverse proportions
transverse vectors

an old theory of everything
nothing new under the sun

devils on speed
apocalypse on horseback

fear and intimidation
shock and awe

digital representations of real life
meta tags and glad rags

your not getting younger
time's tide will smother you

naked ambition
modus operandi

when the sun goes down
we all hit oblivion

don't be sad, we all die alone
unless it's a mass suicide

gumption tested by events
the divine roulette wheel

finger on the pulse
fist in the air

outside me
inside you