Monday, February 13, 2006

It's a mixed bag!

This is not a sign of things to come....

I would usually just forward something like this through the old email,
but i'm making an exception because this isn't only funny but sorta true,
and a bit more abstract than usual email fodder. So obviously its not original.
I mean they ain't all gold but, giv' em a go, eh!
so with futher crap...


  • If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
  • Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
  • Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  • No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  • Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  • If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.




Unrelated, but by the way...
If you get a chance to see the movie "Focus" (based on the Arthur Miller Book) GO FOR IT! Unless your a right-wing thug or like oppression, then you might not agree with it so much...

"First they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up, because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me."

Attributed to Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

2 comments:

niddlesriddles said...

hehe :p just bumped at ur blog (*randomly by clikin on next blog link*) cudn't stop myself from not commentin! :D lolz i don't why but i found ur this post very funny! n actuallly quite interesting n truthful facts!! specially *No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.* (now maybe becus am a gurl - am findin it all the more funny -no offence) and the last 2.. hmm sounds interestin!! am savin all these! :D u have a great day n a great weekend! :D tak care n keep smiling :)

Timbo said...

What can I say?!? LOLz!!11!